You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
