I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
