just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Randomize
