So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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