ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
