Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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