So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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