well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
