her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize