new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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