This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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