I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
