I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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