do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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