btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
