We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
