You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
