nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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