some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
