everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
