I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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