Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So much Jack, so little girl.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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