If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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