I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
