I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Randomize
