let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
