Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
