thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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