Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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