vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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