He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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