Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
