found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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