you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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