think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
