woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Actions speak louder than pants.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
