I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
