you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
