We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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