My hand turned me down
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
