but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
