bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
