tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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