Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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