When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Alive.
So much puke
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
