porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
