I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
