Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i can't believe i had my finger in that
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
