sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
