apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
