i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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