Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
