I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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