dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
