I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
