We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
