He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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