Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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