im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
