either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
