She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The best revenge is premature balding
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
