Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
