then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
