Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
