The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
