i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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