I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize