Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry loko4 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(904): View more from Florida

i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.

Fav 22 6874 1154
share tweet
(434): View more from Virginia

NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.

Fav 20 7075 1543
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(417): View more from Missouri

You totally left a blue butt print on our banister

(573): View more from Missouri

Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.

Fav 12 3580 1212
share tweet
(720): View more from Colorado

i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944

(720): View more from Colorado

and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate

Fav 15 5908 1525
share tweet
(503): View more from Oregon

I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.

Fav 1 1955 1351
share tweet
(906): View more from Michigan

Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.

Fav 10 1518 974
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.

Fav 11 1424 749
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(302): View more from Delaware

If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.

Fav 2 17 61
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat

Fav 0 37 40
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT