And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
