No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
