I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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