it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
When did angry sex become our thing?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
