You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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