Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
